Damn...i could be sitting into hospital if i have too...but it's just that i can't believe that once i've been there...i'll never coming out again...after all the hard work that i've been...guess that i've to face them all...i'll be at the asylum that people called hospital in 20th of October to do the transferation of my lungs...but the percenage of my survival is 20%...that's why i'm having a second thought whenever i'll going to be alive or dead...to my dark sis...i'm sorry that i've could not make it these far...as far as i concerned...i'm happy if you found a somebody that who are really nice to you...i wish i could see you happy...but my time is running short...if i'm alive again after this operation...i'll be going to your place and having a drink or something...ehehe


See At Her Link :

[link]

miss her very much...

Monday

I was about to go jamming with all my compandre's since it's been awhile i haven't singing...but all of them got something to do on their own...damn...i miss my chance to release all my anger for my broken voice last time...I miss BloodSnow very much...

Teusday

I was about want to meet BloodSnow at MSN on that day, but I was too late to meet her since her time is totally different then mine...After waited until 3 hours, i've decided to go walk around the most boring city i've ever lived...all i can see is some morons walking around and looking at me patheticly...Still I Miss BloodSnow very much...

Wednesday

I was going to my friend's party...and damn...there's so many damn hip-hoppers staying around there...i didn't know he's got a friend like that...like an hour or later...i've decided to leave the party and go somewhere which it's nice to be alone...Miss BloodSnow very much...

Thursday

Staying at home and helping myself to do some renovation at my home coz it's been awhile i haven't tiding up my own home...Later that night i went wondering around the back of my house which there's a stories behind it which there's lies a cemetery before it's turns into a farm...who could believe such crap as this...hehehe...Miss BloodSnow much...

Friday

I was the beach lying down at the front of my car...and i can see some scenery and...some actions!...hahaha...who could've thought that this place is where all the couples can release their lust to each other and satisfying each others and not even noticed anything around...Miss Bloodsnow very very much...

Saturday

Damn...my internet connection is still fucked up...i'm almost having a hysteria like little ash from Evil Dead 3 = Army Of Darkness... It's been like almost two weeks...and i've got no option but have to go cyber cafe to surfs internet...dammit i hate my life...but still, I Miss BloodSnow very much...

Sunday

I've upload some of my photo's and some of my capture's from Magic The Gathering's Collection Card which i haven't played like around 2 years...i miss my old days...I Miss BloodSnow very much...My God...It's like an everyday i miss her...hehehe...don't know what is wrong with me but that's the truth...i wish i could talk to her again...i really miss her...

After all the damn thing that i've been through at the Hospital, finally i was released from the hospital due to the hopeless and stupidity doctors over there who doesn't give a damn about my sickness which i will no longer survive in this artificial box that we called world. I miss her very much and i cannot stop thinking about her during at my dreams which is i was in the land with full of grass, blue skies and white shores. Unfortunately, it's just a simple wish for the person that who doesn't live too long. Frankly, I don't know how long i can hold on into this madness and sickness. I wish i could see her for the last time of my life before i'm stepping out from these world...I hope i could be there when she was needed.

Mood = Frustrated

Listening To = Hand Of Blood - Bullet For My Valentine


Here we go again...last night is the most worst day of my life which is i was lost my voice for temporary because I was screaming and growling during jamming. Everything was look fine as it goes until I sing This Fire Burns by Killswitch Engage. Damn...this song required higher pitch screaming...until now i can't sing even one damn songs...but right now I think maybe I should pass become a vocalist tonight...so i've just become the Lead Guitarist tonight, playing Bullet For My Valentine by Hand Of Blood. I hope i can regain back what's mine, and that is my voice...hehehe...

Mood : Sad
Listening To : Henry Mancini - Godfather Theme

Today i've viewed one of my best friend's deviation...in that deviation, she tells everything about her true feelings for someone that she cares and she loves all along...it's just too bad that she's got the sad ending that she's not supposed to have. Eventhough she said that she was alright, but deep down in my heart, her heart now is full with despair, torment, sadness and it's like a Grief Of A Thousand Night. I wish i could say something to her to make her feel better about it, but she was asking me not to worry about her but she doesn't realize that i've understand for what she feels, and there is no way i'm going to make her torment something like this...If She sees this diary, first of all i've just wanna say i'm sorry if i make you feel uneasy for all the words that i've said, i've just don't want her to keep on haunting with the past, and i believe there must be a reason behind these tormenting situation that she's been through. Anyway...eventhough it's not quite official, but i'm giving her one and only lover a last respect and may he rest in peace...


To My Very Best Friend,
Melissa@BloodSnow.